Good vs. Great
Repeat Three Times
I have heard it said that when you hear the same message repeated three times in various settings in a relatively short amount of time, it is important to listen because it is the "universe" sending you a personal message. It happened. In a very real way that caught my attention on the second round. A message came to me, has hollowed out a cave in my brain and totally set up camp, and I can't shake it. I am still searching out its meaning and personal application, but it has brought with it some reflection and prompted some conversations with myself that are still ongoing.
Randall Pearson (This Is Us, S3 E10) said it best while talking to Reverand Hartly on New Year's Eve when he wanted to buy Beth a blueberry pie to stick with tradition and stay out of the doghouse. "You know, my father once told me that I was going to be a great man. My whole life, in the back of my mind, I always wanted to be one. I am starting to think it might be harder to be a good man than a great one."
Profound, right? How could being good be harder than great? I felt like someone pushed pause on the TV and added a thought bubble that said, "Hey, Girl!! I am talking to you!"
This stuck in my mind and I have been rolling it around for over a month now. He said it on the mid-season premiere that aired January 15, 2019. I remember because it was my birthday. I am always very reflective at this time of the year, with mile markers and New Year's Resolutions, but his comment struck something. It lingered.
The second manifestation of this message was a couple of morning after that and came to me while listening to Lewis Howes's podcast, The School of Greatness, where he was interviewing the brilliant Ben Shapiro. In the closing remarks, Lewis asks Ben to share his definition of "greatness." (Get it, School of Greatness? He asks this question of all of his guests). Lewis granted Ben permission to share two definitions, not just one.
The first, he says, takes place when there is a decision that needs to be made that is valuable, moral and decent, such as Winston Churchill. According to Mr. Shapiro, greatness is when a person stands up in trying circumstances, takes a stand on an issue, makes a change, and does something great. He becomes great. It is when a person faced with a terrible crisis and stands up for change, he has done something great. It is a moment. An instance. That is greatness in one sense.
Another definition he suggests is even more important than standing up for something in a trying moment, has a simple definition: goodness. He references George W. Bush and says, "I am not sure he was a great president. I am not even sure if he was a good president. But I think he is a good man. It's a lot harder to be a good person than to be a great person. To be a great person requires you to stand up in a crisis and its kind of thrust upon you. There is a moment in time, you have to stand up and NOW is the time when you make that heroic move, and that is what makes you a great man or a great woman or a great person."
"But, being a good person," he continues, "which is the process of making decisions that are beneficial to you and your family and moral, everyday, knowing that you are not going to be remembered, knowing that all of your friends and family will eventually die... Your legacy in being a good person lives on in the promulgation of a civilization of which you are a minute part. So, being a great person really means being a brick in a wall that is a civilization that is in and of itself great."
This was the slap in the face, attention getter! I have since listened to this portion of the podcast repeatedly!!
The third came to my mind shortly after making the connection between the first two. In scripture, we read, "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents..."
So what is the difference? To me, it is personal and essentially depicts the fork in the road and that path that I have intentionally chosen for my life to simply be good and not great. My definitions align completely with Ben's, and I totally agree with Randall. I 100% think that it is more challenging to be a good person than it is to be a great person. To me, a great person shines in a moment of time. He can be identified by likes, follows, and posts. But a good person is the lighthouse, is constant, consistent, dependable, no matter the storm. I want my children to seek comfort in being "born of goodly parents," like Nephi. But as we learn from his story, parents don't determine a child's outcome. It is up to the child to become good or great oh his or her own.
My Takeaway
This is a lesson life is teaching me at this very moment! Kids are kids. They need their own experiences to learn and grow. Experiences, whether good or bad, determine their goodness and greatness. Whatever they become is up to them.
Jack is SUCH A GOOD DAD!! (Another This is Us, quote, but I can't resist). He told Rebecca, "The kids are gonna be fine. We've shown them a healthy marriage. This is just gonna be a blip on their radar years from now. We're their parents, Bec. We do the best we can. But at the end of the day what happens to them, how they turn out, that's bigger than us. Sometimes they'll make good decisions. Sometimes bad decisions. And every once in a while, they're gonna do something that's gonna knock us off our feet. Something that exceeds even our wildest dreams. Our kids are gonna be fine..."
The road these quotes lead me down took me to this conclusion: I want to be a good person, a good wife, and a good mother. I want to be steady. I am not really seeking for that moment of being discovered as GREAT. In my life this discovery of greatness could potentially look like having a product in my TPT store going viral, taking my hubby on a surprise Alaskan fishing trip, or letting my children have a game box. I think all of those things would improve my chances of being great in the eyes of those I love. A friend once shared that her mother always told her, "What other people think of you is really none of your business." I am working on caring less about what others think of me. They can choose if they want to think I am great. It is up to ME to be good.
What matters most is what I think. I want to be good. Not in a way of a lower standard, but in a way of unwavering greatness.
